Invisible

One quick post and then I promise I will catch-up from Christmas and all before January is over! My friend Neera forwarded this to me, and it really resonated with me today (probably because Barry is out of town again and I can start to feel picked upon when that happens).

I am invisible. It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please." I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She's going ... she's going .... she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean.. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, " I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees." In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

* No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

* These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

* They made great sacrifices and expected no credit..

* The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees." I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become." At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there." As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot see if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

author unknown

Colon Cancer

This morning, a friend of ours, Tony Mortimer, passed away from colon cancer. Tony was a great guy and so talented! He gave Barry some guitar lessons and lots of pointers about what guitar to buy. It was less than a month ago, I saw him perform at the Stake music fireside, looking well and sounding extremely well. He leaves behind a wife and five kids. Our hearts ache for them tonight, and we are sad that we won't have the opportunity to associate with Tony any more in this life.

Ironically, last Thursday, Barry's Grandad had surgery to remove several tumors (one softball sized) from his colon, and it has been confirmed that they were malignant. Though the surgery went well, the word we are getting from his doctors is that this cancer may have spread more than we initially had thought. We are waiting for a visit from an oncologist to get a better idea of what is going on at this point.

In the meantime, the Mortimer family and Grandad could use some extra prayers.

ANNOUNCING...

...the engagement of Trenton to the lovely Emmie Glazebrook.

While I am pleased with his choice (nothing wrong with an older woman), I must admit I have my doubts about the solvency of the engagement for the following reasons:

1) When Kira was this age, she became engaged to Sam Porter, and now the two of them rarely speak.

2) In the same week of his engagement, Trenton was also heard discussing the possibility of marrying Tessa...and Kira.

3) When Emmie accepted Trenton's proposal, she was wearing a veil and may have just needed a groom as an accessory.


But don't they make a cute couple?!?

An Argentine Christmas

My Utah family has a tradition of having an international Christmas party every year. They research the Christmas traditions of different countries and celebrate them as they would in that country. This year was Argentina, and we were lucky enough to be there for the party. My dad, and brother-in-law, Sam, shared stories from their missions, we ate Argentine food and drink--although I'm not sure anyone but Sam had the mate (mah-tay).

Kira and Trenton are finding the goodies left in their shoes (instead of stockings).

Here Trenton is demonstrating the tradition of shooting random gunfire in the air at midnight. (Actually, he just wanted to play with the gun, be we discussed that that really is the traditon in much of Latin America and people die from it all the time).

Trina made these cool leather ornaments to commemorate the event.

Christmas Cousins

While we were in Utah, Tessa got to meet some of her cousins for the first time...

Tessa & Talia Hickman (Shanda's daughter) in their Christmas dresses. (Talia wouldn't let her mom put her bow back in her hair).

Kasen Brown (Marenda' son--5 mos.) Talia (9 mos.), and Tessa (almost 2 mos.) at the Argentine Christmas party.

T 'n T in their Christmas jammies by Lita, with Lita.

How many crying children can you fit in one bench of a car?

The way to travel

On our trip to Utah for Grandma's party, Trenton waited until we got off the freeway at Hurricane to fall asleep. He stayed asleep as we unloaded all of our stuff at the hotel. Finally Grandma had to go, so she took Trenton (carseat and all) and loaded him onto the cart. We wheeled him to the room, where he slept contentedly at least another 15mins.

Happy 2008!

For months now, I have been saying, "I will do that in January," or "I will think about that in January." So now it is January and I'm realizing that I have a bit too much of "that" to do. We spent Christmas and New Years in Prescott and haven't been able to recover from the holidays, unpack, or get on any kind of schedule, yet, so I am having to wait on some things, like all of the posts I have been planning (and maybe even a second blog). I'm just realizing that I have to factor in 3 kids now so my to do lists are usually far more ambitious than I can get done in a day. (sigh)

Anyhow, Happy New Year! Hope your holidays were great and that you are feeling renewed and invigorated in 2008!

Year End Summaries--2007

Kira is 6 going on 36. She LOVES to read and write things in notebooks. She likes singing and doing crafty projects with Mom. We are trying to convince her that it is OK to be a little girl for now, instead of a grown-up.

Trenton is 3 1/2 years old and is all BOY! I think he is Curious George incarnate, because he must touch (and often break) everything! He has boundless energy and an infectious laugh! He makes friends with everyone he sees. Lately everything with him is spaceships and rockets. He wants to be a firefighter/astronaut/policeman/daddy when he grows up.

Tessa is a happy but determined baby. She joined our family last October. She is following in the footsteps of her brother and sister by growing up extremely fast and loving attention from people. She brings so much joy to our family!

100 years old!!!

My Grandma Nielson turned 100 years old this month. The kids and I traveled to Utah to be there for her big birthday party (while Barry worked his 10 day shift). Mom let me know if you want me to email all of these pictures to you. What a legacy this woman has! I believe Tessa is Great-grandchild #96 (and 97 is here now, too.)!

(Today is Barry's b-day...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Osito!...But I will have to report on this one later).

Holiday Open House

Here are the pictures (carefully edited to hide the clutter) I promised Kim a while ago of holiday decorations at my house. As you can see, I have more Christmas than house. The one with the nativity missing Baby Jesus is probably the most appropriate to sum up this year. I could pretend that it is a statement about how commercialism takes Christ out of Christmas, but really, one box didn't make it out of storage along with some of my other favorite decorations...sigh! Maybe by next Christmas we'll be someplace where we can get out all of our Christmas and have access to it all.

Click on the pics to see the captions.

Tessa is two (months)!

I was a day late snapping this photo of Tessa at two months. She is another Halterman overacheiver--off the charts for length and 90% for height. You can tell that she isn't starving. :-) Here is another photo...evidence of that elusive smile!

This week only...

If you'd like to see (or hear, rather) what I was doing the month before Tessa was born, you can check out the CD my choir, The Latter Day Singers put together. There are some neat arrangements of some unique Christmas songs.

For this week only, the price has been lowered to $8 each.

Wow! What a week! & Single Parenthood...

I'm going to attempt to quickly recount the last week. On Monday, Barry left for Bullhead City for work for a couple of days. That evening, I drug my children across the valley for a concert with my choir--my first time back since having Tessa. Since Barry, was gone we had to pick-up Mikelle and Bobby on the way to watch the children while I sang. We had planned to have dinner before the concert, but had to make due with McD's drive-thru that I scarfed down on the way (I just can't get out the door when I plan with all three of these guys, especially when you have to turn back for a potty break!). The kids weren't too noisy during the concert, but kept M & B on their toes (Trenton especially). We got home late and put the kids to bed.

By Tuesday, I was feeling the effects of single parenthood keenly. I had to drive the morning carpool to school this week and had a hard time getting all of us out the door each morning. I had to go grocery shopping with T&T (takes 4 times as long) and had to cook dinner for my dinner group and the kids just weren't cooperating. I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and discouraged. Luckily Barry made it back late that night.

He was able to do some of his work from home Wed. morn, and frantically worked to check a few things off of his list before the next out of town stint. That afternoon we all went to Surprise for family pictures. It is always a big deal to plan and coordinate for that and try and get everyone looking good at the same time. Tessa was pretty grumpy by the time we made it all the way out there, but hopefully we have some good ones...I'll post soon.

Thursday, Barry had to leave for the Tohono Reservation where he was scheduled to work 12 hr. shifts for the next 10 days! Fortunately, he was able to run a couple of errands for me before he left. The other good thing about Thursday was that Barry's sisters came over and helped install my birthday presents, which meant organizing my pantry and kitchen gadget drawer for me. Thanks girls! That night was the dance recital (previous post). Late night.

Friday Tessa slept better and I was able to get a few things done. Rachel, my friend & neighbor, invited us to her house that night for some food, hot cocoa, and Christmas movies. I got her started on blogging while we were there! (Still waiting for a new post, Rachel. :-)) Another late night.

Saturday was a full and crazy day! We put up the nativities and some of the other Christmas decorations. Then we got ready for a full day away which began with a stop at Target followed by a quick visit to the Poinsettia Festival. Every year since we moved to this part of the valley, I have wanted to check out the Poinsettia Festival at Gardner's World on Baseline. I finally decided we would check it out this year, even if we only had a few minutes. I guess we missed the most impressive display of poinsettias (in the big building in the back), but took advantage of some photo ops., let the kids bounce in the bounce house, and had one of Santa's elves paint their faces, before we left.

Then I dropped the kids off with Bobby and Mikelle, where they made cookies, while I went to a belated birthday dinner with my good friends Carla, and Kameron who sing in choir with me. We went to Posh Nosh on Main Street in Mesa, which is super cute and has the most decadent desserts and gelato (Yum!!!). We had a great time, but in the shuffle I managed to lose my cell phone in the car and couldn't make contact with Mikelle to hand off Tessa before I had to get on stage to sing. Debbie's husband, who had been with us in Europe last year, took care of Tessa the whole time we sang. He was so sweet! He didn't want her to get cold so he sat with her inside the Visitor's Center and missed the whole concert. Afterward, we walked around and looked at the lights. (Here is Trenton in front of the camels, and Kira on her own camel--Corbin.) We also looked at the beautiful nativity scenes in the Visitors Center. This one is from Oberammergau, Germany, where we sang last year.

Another, very late night.

Sunday began with a trip to the Findlay's house to put together the number I was going to be a part of that night at the stake music fireside. Then we dashed home to finish getting ready for Stake Conference. We had to be there early for choir practice (I was late). I handed off my children to my home teacher, whose wife was also involved in the music that day. Not only did they have to watch kids while the choir sang, but also for the 40 mins. + that it took Tessa to nurse, and the time I had to spend with Trenton in the hallway. Between musical numbers, Tessa, and Trenton, I got more exercise during Stake Conference, then I did all week. And sadly missed most of what was said. :-( We had to stay late to practice our number for the night. Ran home, made dinner, switched car seats to Barry's car (my low fuel light was on) and then back to the church for the fireside, where our number was first, so I couldn't be late. Btw, I was so impressed by the caliber and variety of talent in our stake! Not just good singers and pianists (some very good!) but strings, oboe, harp, guitar, and more! Some one was thoughtful enough to arrange for child care during the fireside, and it was run by the stk. primary presidency, so it was well organized and calm. Thank you! Thank you! But after refreshments, and runaway children (Trenton), it was another very late night!

This is Trenton when we got home. Which is about how I felt!

Nothing on the calendar today, except carpool pick-up in a few minutes. So I am trying to catch-up on laundry, dishes, and many misc. to-do's, as well as finally getting up the Christmas Tree for FHE.

On the subject of single parenthood, I'm not sure how anyone could do this long term and not go a bit insane. I wouldn't be surviving at all if it weren't for good people willing to help us out. We miss you, Barry!

FYI--If you need to justify your blogging habit...

...I've found a website that will download your blog for publishing in a book. http://www.blurb.com/create/book/blogbook

I'm using this site for some Christmas gifts this year. (Haven't seen the finished result, yet, but prices are pretty good). In January, I'm planning to get serious about printing a blog book (maybe one for each year). I figure this is a great way to preserve family history, and if I need to reference it for scrapbooking, I can, and if the scrapbooks never get caught up, that won't be such a tragedy either.

Dance Recital

Kira had her winter dance on Thursday. Her class danced to "How Much is That Doggie in the Window?" And looked adorable in these poodle skirts.

Kira will not be happy that I am posting this shot, but it was the cutest part of the dance. When they said "waggly tail", they all turned and shook there "tails." She said it was embarrassing. Kira did great from what I could see (she was in the corner in the back, so I couldn't always see her well), so I was surprised to see her come into the audience sobbing after the performance. (I know some of you saw her, as well). When she calmed down enough to tell me what the matter was, it was that her class had been wild and noisy before the performance, and she had taken it upon herself to try and calm them down. Surprisingly, :-) they wouldn't listen to her. For those of you who know Kira, you know that this is very upsetting to her. Of course, in a class full of first-born girls, why would they listen to Kira? Ah, the drama! Do you think I can teach her to relax a little about things before puberty hits???

On another note, I put mascara on her for the first time and was floored at the length of those eyelashes. Her eyes look huge with a little make-up!

Tessa and the Blessing Dress

Tessa's blessing clothes have special meaning. The dress comes from my side of the family. My Grandma Nielson made it and my sisters and I were all blessed in it, as well as most of my nieces--now Kira and Tessa, too. The bonnet was made by Barry's Great-Grandma Fortie, and the female descendants of that line have been blessed in it. The crocheted booties were custom made by our talented neighbor when we lived in Mesa at the time of Kira's blessing. (I had to dress Tessa up again this week to document how sweet she looked in her special blessing outfit.)

Blessings!

Tessa recieved a name and a blessing in church on Sunday. Most of Barry's family made for the occasion.

Although we had a hard time getting good pictures of our little family and Tessa, we got some grat ones of Barry's family!
I LOVE this one of Barry's sisters! Ooo, la, la, ladies! Can you believe that two of these three gorgeous ladies are available???

After the blessing (which was beatiful, btw), we went to Amber's house where she made burritos a la Cafe Rio, with all the fixings, in honor of my birthday and Tessa's special day. (Yum!) Then I opened my birthday presents (the "Cansolidator" and other kitchen storage supplies). Then we attempted some multi-generational photos. You can see how Trenton felt about these...

Advent calendar--my version

I had been wanting to make an advent calendar of somekind for a long time. I was hoping to do something in the shape of a Christmas tree because that is what we had growing up, but I was hoping for a version that called for a lot less sewing.

So here is what I came up with after borrowing ideas from Becky P.'s blog, who borrowed ideas from Ali Edward's blog, who borrowed ideas from Martha Stewart's kids magazine. ;-) Aren't blogs great!

If anyone wants specs (paint colors, how to's, etc.) let me know. Although, I think the colors look a little different in this picture than in real life. I plan to put a scripture and thought question in each one (from the Friend magazine), and hide a few treats on random days.

Happy Birthday to me!

Today is much more quiet than I am used to for a birthday, but that is kind of one of my birthday presents this year. Barry is working the gun show today, and my in-laws took my children to the Polar Express Train ride this weekend (post to come). So Tessa and I are chilling alone. I like to take it easy on my birthday, but this time I feel the need to keep working on stuff because of the realization of how difficult it will be to get anything done (like shop or wrap presents) when my children are back (and Barry will be out of town an awful lot in the next few weeks!). Barry and I are supposed to go to dinner tonight, but are torn between going someplace nice or grabbing a quick bit to eat and coming back to work on my craft project (advent calendar--post to come).

If today doesn't feel much like my birthday, I really can't complain, because last Saturday in Prescott, I had a really great day that felt a lot like a birthday. Barry and his mom had arranged for me to go to a salon and get a pedicure/manicure and eyebrows waxed. Little did we know that they hadn't planned to be open that day, but were moved by the idea that a husband wanted to surprise his wife and opened shop, just for me! See my bright red toes!

Afte that we all went to an early dinner at the Prescott Brewing Co. (Downtown), and then the girls--including Kira and Tessa--went to see "Enchanted." It was a great day full of things I don't normally get to do!

We will also be celebrating with my in-laws tomorrow after Tessa's blessing (another post to come! :-)).

We got elfed!

This is too funny! When I saw Kim's I had to do one for our family. Check out our moves:

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1122878414